No matter the situation when you divorce, amicable or not, there is always an adjustment to what people call co-parenting. I am not really sure who came up with this term...but I have not experienced anything that felt we were cooperative in the parenting realm. Co-parenting, seriously what is this because apparently my ex and I differ on this meaning. He takes it as I should ask for permission for everything I am doing for her...I can't inform him of things, I need to ask his permission. I see it differently, I see it as speaking amicably to each other (meaning no swearing lol), informing each other of small decisions and discussing and deciding on the big decisions. Not sure we will ever see eye to eye on this one.
Divorce is tricky enough as it is, but when you add in a child to the mix it becomes messy. You can truly only control what happens to your child when they are with you, then when you send them off to be with the other parent all bets are off. The food is different, bedtimes are different...EVERYTHING is different and it will drive you insane sometimes.
One thing I have learned is you just have to bite your tongue and pick your battles. My ex-husband isn't doing a bad job...but there are certainly things that drive me crazy and I have a hard time on learning how to approach things and when to leave them alone. God knows when I do decide to bring something up, no matter how nice I do it...it inevitably ends in a fight of some sort. We have fought on everything from what movies are appropriate, to meeting each others significant others, to how to properly bathe her...and everything in between.
I never thought I would be a divorcee with a child...but here I am. The actual life of being a single mom I don't find difficult, but the coordinating of schedules, money and re-learning how to talk to your ex is by far the most challenging for me. My divorce was final in March of this year, and here I am 7 month later still walking on egg shells every time I say anything to him as to not set him off.
We are all human, and when you break up or divorce someone, there are things that will just irk you and get under your skin as to how they do things...it is learning to let go of some of the simple things and do your best to focus on the child(ren). My number one priority is making sure my daughter is the happiest and healthiest kid she can be...but worrying if she gets that same treatment and focus when she isn't with me is what keeps me up at night. If both parents can solely focus on that aspect and not bicker over things that have nothing to do with the child's best interest, life would be so much more peaceful. So this is me...starting to learn to co-parent as best as I can because I will tell you, this is so much harder than it looks.
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